Ever since I first heard it, I’ve thought this song captures quite well the struggles that many of us twenty-(and, I’m sure, many thirty-, forty-, fifty-, and even sixty-)somethings are going through, as we try to figure out what we’re allowed to do and who we have to listen to now that we’re adults. We spend so much of our lives doing what we’re told to do, whether it’s by our parents or peers or society in general. And for some of us, our existential quarter-life crisis brings along these questions- who SAYS we can’t do that?
Who says I can’t pack up, take a solo transatlantic cruise, and spend 3.5 months traveling around Europe on a whim? Nobody worth listening to does, and that’s why I did it.
Who says you can’t spend your long Memorial Day weekend holed up in your room, watching episodes of “True Blood” while the rest of the world basks in the sunshine and watches fireworks?
Who says John “can’t get stoned and plan a trip to Japan alone?” (It doesn’t matter if he even goes!)
One of the best revelations I embraced while traipsing around Europe solo was that I don’t have to answer to ANYBODY. If I wanted to spend the day in the park, people watching and writing in my journal, instead of going to yet another museum or tourist attraction, I had nobody to judge me! (And that happened frequently- I’m not a huge fan of museums.) If I wanted to extend my three-day stay in Rome to a week, simply because I liked the campground pool, the only person who might have said I couldn’t was the campground desk clerk!
Who says we can’t do what makes us happy? Okay, maybe not all the time– but then again, why not? Who says we can’t redefine our world around our own joys, providing we don’t hurt anyone else? Who says??
And while we’re on this topic, who says you have to be who you’ve always been? One of the exhilarating things about travel or moving to a new place is the ability to simply start over. Of course, it’s easier said than done to change who you are, but it’s about little things- getting rid of the old things that held you back simply by being there. A reputation, a stupid thing you did six years ago, a group of friends that know “everything” about you.
But you don’t have to move across the state, the country, or the world to start over. It’s more difficult, sure, but why not choose, wherever you are, to change the things that you don’t like about yourself and your life? If you don’t like the choices that you make when you’re out at the bars with your friends every weekend, try to stop going, at least one day a week. If you wish you had more of a social life, confess your feelings to a “social butterfly” friend or coworker and ask them to bring you along… anywhere. If you hate that you yell at your friends and family when they get on your nerves, find a free counselor to talk to about your anger issues. If you wish you were more interesting, find a topic that excites you (even if it’s “True Blood”) and talk about it! (Careful not to go overboard there- “interesting” can turn into “crazy fanatic” real quickly.)
It doesn’t matter what it is that you want to change. My point is, nobody’s stopping you from making small steps towards that change. And if they are, maybe you should rethink their presence in your life.
“Who says I can’t be free, from all of the things that I used to be? Rewrite my history… who says I can’t be free?”
Who says we can’t make changes to better our lives- right now? What are you waiting for?
Confessions of.... 